I'm sure many of you have seen this article floating around facebook. And if we are friends on Facebook, I'm sure you saw my rant in response to the article. If you didn't, here you go:
"Our generation isn't equipped to handle marriage anymore - and here's why"
This is an interesting read, and there are spots of truth in it. However, I think a lot of it is covering up the real roots of the problems.
We are by no means financially rich, but our marriage is not failing because of our finances. In fact, it flourishes. Some of our best days were a result of having very little and having to make it enough. I bet if you were to ask generations past, they would say the same thing. We live within our means, paying our debts and saving fo...r our future. It has not halted us from living life. We are living life and loving every second of it.
Technology is existent in every room of our home, but I don't fear for our marriage because of it. The real problem lies within the failure to seek your spouse's heart each day. I have argued since before I was married that intentionality makes all the difference. When you make sitting down and spending time together (I don't mean you're sitting in the same room watching the same show both on your phones, but when you actually, intentionally are spending time together) a priority, the technology no longer matters as much. I'm by no means saying we don't struggle with over-using technology, but I'm saying the balance between the two is crucial.
The biggest flaw in this argument, for me at least, was the omission of the importance of being Christ-centered always. Marriage is a covenant, created by God, used to glorify Him. For us, our marriage is a ministry to one another and to those around us. When the covenant is taken too lightly and the commitment is conditional, that's when our marriages start to fail. Older generations knew that, and there are handfuls in our generation that know that. That is what made generations before us "equipped" for marriage, and that is what makes our generation and those to follow "equipped" for marriage.
Sometimes, I feel like I've been married for a hundred years, other times I feel like I'm still in my first month of marriage.
Marriage is full of apologies... for being in a funk and taking it out on each other, for burning the dinner, for turning his socks pink, for spending the last $8.73 in our bank account on chinese for lunch even when she packed yours for you, for being sorry.
Even more importantly, marriage is full of it's okay's, of me too's, of no I'M sorry's.
Marriage is a great place for a sweet husband to learn that "no, it's okay" doesn't always mean it's okay. For example, he asks if I want the last biscuit at Cracker Barrel, I say "no, it's okay", he knows I really do want it but don't want to ask for it. He asks if I want the rest of the gravy on mine and I say "no, it's okay" and he knows it's really ok. He has learned to read my tone to know what I really mean.
It's also a great place for a sweet wife to learn when he asks what's wrong to tell him, confront it, and move on. I've always been bad about the "I'm Fine" and never meaning it. Now, I only use "I'm fine" if we are in public or with friends and I want to talk about it later.
I'm learning that marriage often looks a lot like this:
... and that it's okay. It's a place that falling short is met with encouragement and forgiveness, growth and love, even through things that seem impossible.
Well, here we are one year later. Still married and still loving it.
We beat both Kim and Britney, so hey, there's that.
One year ago, we said our vows, we exchanged our rings, and we promised each other forever.
The last year of my life has been both the slowest year and the fastest year all at the same time. It was full of learning and living, of arguing and grace, of growing pains and the bandaids that help them heal. Some days have been impossible, some days have been so full of life that I wish they'd last forever.
I'm so blessed to have known Jackson almost half of my entire life, and to have loved him for just as long. I am blessed to have a man who loves me unconditionally and with whom I can share every bit of life... the good, the bad, the ugly. He is my past, my present, and my future.
I have learned that he does not eat mayonnaise and he hates sour cream. He will eat all of the Oreos if you don't hide them, and can tell the difference in regular and off-brand Cheerios. He loves new gadgets and loves being surprised with gifts, even as small as socks. Speaking of, he can put a hole in the toe of a sock faster than anyone I know. He works his tail off and still makes a point to conquer his honey do list at home. He watches everything I do and loves my quirks. He picks up on the little things I say and usually comes through for my "I wish we could/had/did _____". I fall more in love with his crows feet and his laugh every day, and I even love his scruffy face. He is my heart and soul and I'm so blessed to be his wife.
Happy Anniversary, Jackson. I look forward to what this year has for us. I am loving being your wife, and I love sharing my life with you.
Our first year has flown. Time wise, it seems like we got married a few months ago. Our first year of marriage has been so incredibly full. I can count the number of weekends we had down time on one hand, but I can't count the blessings on all of my fingers and toes combined.
Our year has been full of learning.
Learning how to share, learning how to coexist, learning how to mesh our lives.
I won't lie. Some days were hard.
Some days were full of fights about money and babies and our home and quality time.
Some days were full of tickle fights, homemade waffles, and giggles.
All of our days have been so filled with love.
I've learned some really hard lessons this year.
What we have is enough - We don't need the million dollar mansion, we don't need fancy cars or expensive gifts for Christmas. What we have is plenty. I have learned how to be appreciative and happy and thankful for the things we have right now, because in the blink of an eye, it could all be gone.
The here and now won't be here and now forever - I have, in the 27 days so far this year, learned to live more in the moment than I ever have. Heck, I'm leaving my planner places because I don't use it as often. I'm learning to live on a whim, to pick up and go, and to live in the here and now. We planned our anniversary trip on a whim at a week's notice. We go to concerts. We are going to 10:30pm movies just because. We are throwing a little of our caution to the wind, and I love it. It just so happens, it has cured my current baby fever, which is an added perk! ;) I won't always get this time to spend with Jackson, so I'm soaking it up one moment at a time.
Sharing is caring, but it's not always fun - I didn't grow up with skills in sharing. My sister and I went to different high schools so we wouldn't have to share friends, teachers, etc. That was not such a good thing for my marriage. We love hanging out with our friends, but being a quality time person, I don't always like to share time with my husband with everyone else. I also don't like sharing the spotlight. When my brother in law and his new wife came home for Christmas, I hated sharing my "first married Christmas" spotlight. As for sharing the TV, I have been known to throw a "I don't want to watch this hunting show anymore" fit. I'm not proud, but I'm learning.
Sometimes not saying everything you think is okay - In an argument, not everything is something worthy of being said. Sometimes, whatever it is may make matters worse. It's okay to ask for a minute to collect your thoughts. The smartest thing I've ever done is ask for a pause. It's a pause in whatever argument is going on so I can think. When I'm upset, my filter goes out the window, so things that aren't so encouraging are said before I have a chance to think about them. Taking that pause is crucial to my arguing.
What was your biggest newlywed lesson?
Time to time, I scroll on Trulia. I love looking for good deals on places we could move since we're paying for a house and have a teensy tiny apartment. Couldn't hurt, right?
Wrong.
I came across this house. It's a beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house for $700! It's close to where I grew up, close to where my daddy lives, etc.
We fell head over heels. I sent an inquiry through the website and got an e-mail back from the owner of the house. He had bid on petroleum land in California and was tying up loose ends back home. It seemed legit... if you miss the big warning that says "Owners who claim to be in another state may be a scam". I missed that big warning. Utilities were included and we would be taken out of our rent payment. Too good to be true? No! It's our home! We were so thrilled. We would be saving so much per month that we could save for our own downpayment!!
Anyway. I go for days talking to this guy about this house, how beautiful it is, and arrange to send the money via PayPal for him to send the keys and the documents. Jackson was questioning it all along, but I had the answers, and I trusted him, so it was ok. (That is the part that makes me want to vomit) He never replied. Looking back, huge red flag that he didn't reply after I said we didn't like mailing checks.
Monday morning, I woke up and went to work, started digging a little further and found a real estate agent's number. He told me I would, however, they decided not to go with a realtor because their tenant may not get along with a realtor and it would be hard for them to be in California and have to be the gobetween. Legit, right? I called the phone number, explained what happened to the young girl, and she informed me it was a scam. Of course it was. The listing is gone, everything is gone. What was I thinking?
I have never felt more violated or taken advantage of in my life. Never. Even when my purse was stolen and my credit card was used. Never. I trusted whomever I was speaking to, and I gave information I thought would be used to check references. Now, a creepo scammer knows where we live, knows our occupations, and he knows about my cleaning schedule!
Silver lining: I trusted my gut and called to check it out before we sent money.
Lesson learned: If it seems too good to be true, it's too good to be true.
Our weekend was so busy. Like, it's Monday and my head is on my desk because I'm in a state of exhaustion I've never been in before. I think.
Friday, we worked and came home to a date night. Penn Station and a little Breaking Bad... great date night if I do say so myself.
Saturday, I spent my day at my Daddy's house playing with all of my pets that I left behind.
Meanwhile, Jackson was sitting in a field with a gun doing what he loves to do.
Saturday evening, we had a date with one of my best friends from high school at Rosepepper.
Sunday, we churched, we ate, we grocery shopped, we ate some more, we watched the Golden Globes, and we slept. Now it is Monday, it's raining, and I feel like everyone is ready to rip everyone's head off. Welcome back, eh?
We've all heard the line "Communication is key." Heck, I have a bachelors of science in communication. Thousands of dollars spent to learn, and I'm no better at it than I was before. Why? I'll chalk it up to human nature, but it's probably because I'm stubborn. Communication is like exercise. It sucks to do it, and it's hard to get started, and sometimes you have arguments because of it (or puke, in exercise's case), but after it's all said and done, you're so thankful you did it!
Someone once called me a "let me do it" personality. That's a nice way of saying I'm a control freak. I like to know things are done the way I like them done, and the only way to do that is to do them myself. In high school, I was the kid in group projects that would tell my teammates that I would do the project and they could have the A. Most people were okay with that!
Insert husband here.
(just because I think this gives you a great idea of who he is...hahaha)
I'm now one person on a two person team. There's very little room for "let me do it" personalities in a marriage because eventually, the more laid back of the two starts to feel like he/she is being left out of the planning and the doing.
For example, we recently talked about our finances and what they mean for our five year plan. Talking to my husband about our finances, our bills and debts, where our money goes, where each of us would like it to go, and what it means for moving, growing our family, etc. was one of the best things I've ever done. Why did it take me almost eleven months to do it? Because I figured I had it under control and he would go along with it. I felt like a 5,000 pound weight was lifted from my shoulders when all was said and done, and Jackson felt like he was included. It also helped him feel like he was better able to lead our family because he was better informed. He has been praying for God to make him the leader our family needs, and through our talk, he was able to grow! I had been praying for relief from my money stress, and having someone who shares our goals and plans lifted that weight. Talk about answered prayers!
Letting people, especially my husband, in is becoming easier and easier the more I realize how much better it makes me feel. I don't have to carry my burdens alone, and that is something I constantly have to remind myself.
This has been a post I've been thinking about writing, but the timing never felt right. God wasn't done working so that I could speak to it wholeheartedly. Now I'm here, I'm ready.
Last year was a year of great adjustment. I graduated college a month prior, I got married in February and moved into a new home, I spent a lot of time working and making sure all of our friends' quality time tanks were filled. I learned how to make time for myself, how to make time for my sweet husband, and how to make time for my marriage. I thought the last one would come naturally, but for two extroverts who have a need to be around people, it took some hard work to stop and make time for just the two of us.
The one thing I forgot to make time for was God. I wasn't praying unless someone asked me to pray for a certain person or situation. I wasn't reading my Bible unless I needed a verse to throw in an argument. I wasn't holding my husband accountable for his relationship with God, either. I wasn't making sure he sat down and read with me... I wasn't encouraging him to pray with and for me and our family. I made time for all of our relationships except the most important one.
After months of struggling with that fact, we can fast forward to Christmas 2014. I was feeling burned out, tired, and just... bleh. I was on my way home from church with my iHeart radio playing some good, old Linkin Park (to prepare for the concert, of course) and my radio switched itself to Switchfoot radio. The music was completely unrelated, but I went with it... who doesn't like Switchfoot, after all? Song after song had the basic message "I'm not going anywhere, I will always love you, come to me". Cue the tears. I'm not implying God works through iHeart radio, but it was one heck of a coincidence, and some pretty great timing.
I made it one of my resolutions to spend more time reading and praying with Jackson, and so far, so good. It, for us, is a matter of turning off the TV, getting off of our phones, and making time for God and our marriage. It's going to be a daily struggle, but I'm almost positive this one will be worth it. Here's to rooting my marriage in Christ this year!
Well, first thing's first... you smile uncontrollably because you're so doggone excited for her, and your eyes fill up with tears because you just can't control how happy you are.
Next, you start to reassess your life. I mean, you're 23 for Goodness' sake! What are you even doing with your life right now? sleeping, buying furniture to organize all 631 of the square feet you rent, and monogramming every object you own? Get it together!!
You ask your husband how he feels about it. When he tells you he thinks it could work and you may jump on the baby train, too, you'll die. Literally die. But then, allow your brain to mess everything up and bring you back to reality. Remind your husband that you can barely afford to move, just bought a new car, and would like to have some money saved for maternity leave. When he agrees, get mad at him because you wanted him to convince you it would all work out. Then, try to convince him that you're managing your debt quite well and have money left out of all of your paychecks. Um hello, you don't even use all of our grocery budget as it is. When he tells you it's not going to work, and then proceeds to tell you how he is going to pursue a raise at work by getting his commercial driver's license, don't forget to let your impatience and your fear of being left behind and turn that into a "but when" issue. He will get frustrated and tell you he's doing all that he can do, and that it will come in God's time... not because everyone around you is doing it. Last but not least, go to bed upset at your husband, and wake up the next morning realizing what a brat you were. That's the most important step.
LouBoo, you're going to be a great mommy, and I can't wait to meet Baby P!
Being a busy married couple, it's so hard to carve out time to date each other. Either we are really busy or really tired, or broke as a joke.
We have definitely learned the importance here lately, though, and have realized that it doesn't have to cost us the big bucks! Our most fun dates have cost us less than $20!
Here are some of our favorites:
Quarter Bowl
Check your local bowling alleys for their cheap nights! Our bowling alley does a night where each game is a quarter, and shoe rental is half off. We usually bring snacks so we don't have to buy them there! Bowling is seriously hilarious fun!
3 "Box" Date Night
On these nights, dinner comes from a box (hamburger helper, pizza, etc.), and we go to the Redbox for a movie! We put our phones in a box to keep distraction away! Simple and easy! One you could add, that we have added a time or two, is to pull out your "box" of sentiments. We have a massive shoebox full of trinkets and love notes and significant items. We like to go through them and read or laugh!
Fort Night
No, I know, that means two weeks. It's not a two week date. It's literally a night to build a fort (with an opening to watch TV) and eat ice cream for dinner.
50 Questions
Find one of those "50 things you should ask your spouse" list and print off the questions. Cut and fold them and put them in a bowl. You'll be surprised how many hours of great conversation this brings about!!
Operation Drive Through
This one occurred on accident, but has been one of my favorites that we may do more often. Last weekend we did wedding pictures (ten months later) and were starving afterward. We went to the McDonald's drive through and got squaks and screams from all of the drive through girls! This may be a fun Saturday date.
When we said our vows, they were sentimental and sweet. We vowed to love each other unconditionally for the rest of our lives. By saying "I Do", we were saying, in front of our family and friends, that we expect the other to deliver on what we vowed. I expect him love and cherish me, to honor and protect me, to lead me to the cross, and to encourage me daily because those are things Jackson vowed to me. Likewise, he expects the same of me because that is what I vowed to him.
It goes without saying that there are expectations you have of your spouse, even though you did not write them in pretty letters and read them in front of everyone. Obviously, I expect him to be faithful, to someday be a great father to our children, etc. Those were implied. What wasn't necessarily implied, and certainly wasn't presented, is our chore expectations of each other.
We've been having growing pains that just haven't finished working themselves out quite yet. And I'm still okay with occasionally falling behind. I, being the Type-A personality, am not always okay with falling behind, though.
Expectation: Jackson will do exactly half of the chores, and I will do half.
Reality: Life gets in the way.
Jackson has picked up 10 hour days at work, has been working on duck decoys for this season, has been studying for his CDL, and has been trying to make sure that my little quality time loving heart is well tended to. The man is lucky to get a full night's rest. Chores are not always split 50/50, but should never be split 100/0. I was okay with doing it all until I found myself burned out from working, running errands, and cleaning 24/7.
Expectation: Jackson will see that I'm tired from working and doing all of the chores and cooking and working.
Reality: My husband is not a mind reader
As silly as it sounds, this is something I am learning over and over again, pretty much once a week. True, we could both be a little more observant of the other's feelings by trying to read the other; however, it still leaves room for spousal error. Jackson is going to read me the wrong way, just like I'm going to misread him. It would make life 100% easier if we were able to simply come out and say "I need your help" or "You're not helping me enough" or "I'm tired, can you do the laundry tonight?" I'm 85% passive, and will slam the dishwasher closed, or finish what I'm doing and storm off to the bedroom.
Goal: Use my words.
Expectation: Jackson is going to make a full 180 degree transformation overnight
Reality: We will forget and life will get in the way again and we will be back here in a month or so, maybe one step closer to the goal than we are right now!
And that is okay.
We are married for the rest of our lives, and we are going to continue to grow and hit these speed bumps and grow some more. That's life. When we stop learning, we are in trouble.
What unsaid expectations have reared their ugly heads into your marriage? How did you handle them?
Linking up with WYWW
Warning: word vomit ahead.
Athazagoraphobia : the fear of being left behind, forgotten, or ignored.
I, lately, have been suffering from a severe case of jealousy that is rooted in the fear of being left behind. This is not a new discovery, just one that has reared its ugly head here lately.
Jackson and I had the baby fight. One of us is ready, the other is enjoying life as is and is concerned with finances not working out with a small human. You get one guess who each describes.
I'll give you a hint. I'm ready... or I thought I was.
The more I got to thinking about it, the more I realized that my current bout of baby fever has come from a friend couple saying they were saving so she could stay home for a couple of years here soon when babies come. Soon. But I'm not ready for you to have kids because that means I have to have kids.
What?
What does them having kids have to do with us having kids? Because I don't want to be left behind.
I realize my apartment/house buying or "moving" itch has come from another friend couple saying they were moving into a bigger apartment in the next couple of months. Next couple of months. But, I like where we live and I'm not ready to move. But I can move because they're moving.
What?
Why do I have to move because they're moving? Because I don't want to be left behind.
My fear of being left behind is making me want things I don't yet want. I'm completely content with our home. I love our life as newlyweds. I'm not ready to move, and I'm not ready for kids. I am enjoying sleeping in on Saturdays, spending huge amounts of money on Linkin Park tickets, and picking up and going wherever and whenever we want to.
My challenge to myself will be being happy for those around me instead of wanting what they have or wanting to keep up.
It's crazy to believe that as of this Saturday, Jackson and I have been married for nine whole months!! That's 3/4 of a whole year!
Lately, we have been experiencing some little growing pains. We are learning and growing and finally getting into the swing of things. Our biggest issue, thus far, has been housework. No one likes it (unless you're me), and even if they like it, they don't want to do all of it all the time.
While I was gone over the last two weeks, things got a little out of hand. It really made me realize that I do everything around our home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing my husband at all. If anything, it's my "just let me do it" personality that has gotten us here. After an overloaded washing machine (my bad) and some tears of frustration, I realized that it's not that Jackson doesn't want to help... it's that he doesn't know how. He kept saying "I don't know what to do around here to help." Never had it occured to me that he just doesn't know what to look for.
We realized the root of our issue was that we were raised 100% differently. I've been doing my own laundry and cleaning since I was ten or so; Jackson's sweet mama did a lot of the house work.
Does that make either of us wrong? No.
Does that mean there needs to be a happy medium? Yes.
Insert a daily cleaning checklist here.
I realized that if I break down the things that need to be done over the five weekdays, the chores don't require a day of Tasmanian Devil type cleaning. For example, we have a four-section laundry sorter which usually results in five loads of laundry (the first bag has all of my work clothes and our t-shirts and sleep clothes and all, too. This usually makes two loads of laundry... or one... see above reference to overloaded washer). There's no need to do all of the laundry in one day when, essentially, there is a load of laundry per day! It makes it so much easier! Here's my breakdown. I made it more simple on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, because we are usually busier on those days.
How did you conquer this mountain?!
I just wanted to take this morning (before work blows up) to stop and gush about my sweet husband. I have been working like a mad woman the entire month of October. Last week I was in Chattanooga, this week I'll be in Knoxville, and next week I may just crash. I have a pretty easy-going job, so this is completely out of the ordinary for me.
Insert awesome husband here.
I never realized how important it was to have a partner who is willing to jump in and pick up the slack when you're too busy to carry it. I'm a "I'll do it, don't worry about it" kind of person, but when I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, it's good to know he will be there to help me when I forget to marinate the chicken for tonight's dinner, or to not be upset when I fall asleep on the sofa while we're watching The Walking Dead.
I am thankful that he understands how to communicate with my quality time loving heart. Last Saturday, we had a full day of just relaxing, enjoying life together, and reconnecting. It's so hard to be on the go all the time... especially for me.
Lord, I come to you with a heart full of thanks... for my job, no matter how busy it has made me lately... for my husband and his ever growing heart... for our life, and the ability to slow down and really take in all that you have blessed us with. Thank you for blessing me with a husband who not only works so hard to provide material blessings, but also works so hard to help me when I feel like I fall short. Thank you for his servant heart, and his willingness to let you mold him into the husband you know I need; likewise, I thank you for continuing to mold me into the wife Jackson needs. Father, please help us to never be too busy or to lose sight of what it means to take time for ourselves, for our marriage, and our relationship with you. We know that all good comes from you, Lord, and we are so thankful to see your will playing out in our story. Please continue to mold us, to help us grow, and to help us continue to love unconditionally. Amen.
Sorry for the gush this morning, I am just feeling especially thankful, and ready to be home from my last trip this Friday evening with my sweet man.
At the beginning of last October, Jackson and I moved into our home sweet home. We picked out a tiny 631 square foot apartment because we liked the listing on Trulia. We signed our lease in July and got our keys on the first of October.
The first day we moved in, Jackson and I layed in the floor watching Despicable Me on his laptop as we waited for Comcast to come hook up our cable to our 13" TV. There has really not been a more overwhelmingly simple time in my life other than that.
Four days later, we enlisted boys from church to help us move in our furniture. We inherited almost every item of furniture we own. That same weekend, we painted our chalkboard wall, and my sweet daddy bought us a kitchen table and chairs. I took so much pride in knowing that that piece of furniture was 100% ours, and I still love it more than Dad will ever know.
The week we moved in, the garbage disposal died, the dishwasher leaked, and somewhere down the road, the washing maching tried to kill itself. Thank goodness for maintenance and not being responsible for the appliances!!
One of our favorite things about out home is the chalkboard wall. It has had something on it since the day after we painted it! Even if it was a result of a boys' night...
We have pictures on our walls, things that mean the world to us stacked on our tables and shelves, plates that we have painted are hung around the top of our kitchen, it is our home.
Believe me, sometimes I have fits because our tiny little home is a wreck. Right now, there are towels folded on our coffee table, there are clothes piled up in our laundry room, and I can't even see our dining room table.... but it is our home. It is where we live, and it is the place we share life together.
Happy one year, 227. Thank you for being the starting place for our lives, and the first Little Hiney Home. Thank you for treating us kindly and being so safe. I know that we will look back someday and miss the simplicity (and the very little cleaning required) of our little home.
While planning my wedding, people kept telling me that there are seven things that go wrong on your wedding day. Whoever thought it was wise to tell a bride that was obviously ready to die. It was true, whether I wanted to deal with the reality or not. Some of the things that went wrong, I didn't find out about until just recently, but sure enough, there were seven things that went wrong on my wedding day.
1. Ours started the day before our wedding. For the rehearsal dinner, I had a beautiful Calvin Klein dress; it was white with a navy blue stripe on it. My sister was putting on her face makeup and it shot out of the pump and onto my dress. I ended up wearing the same dress I wore for our bridal tea.
2. After the ceremony, most of my family left for the reception with everyone else. We planned to take family pictures in the in-between time we had between the ceremony and reception. Our minister forgot to announce that families should exit to the back of the auditorium, so we didn't get pictures with everyone in them.
3. The lighter wouldn't light for my unity candle. I remember Dad coming back to the back of our auditorium and saying "the lighter wouldn't light". I jokingly said "What'd you do? Did you take your cigarette lighter out of your pocket to light it?" He looked at me and said, "Well, yeah!" Watching our wedding video, that was one of the most hilarious parts of our wedding.
4. We forgot the boutonniere for the minister, and I kept Dad's with me. I didn't let anyone know that, so my poor father in law was shafted at first. haha. I felt so bad.
5. During the reception, the boys took my car to Jackson's parents house because we used the truck as a getaway car. Our marriage license was in the car, so our reception lasted much longer than it should have because we had to wait for them to go back and get it.
6. One of my bridesmaids' dresses didn't fit at all. Apparently, there was a crisis a couple of nights before my wedding, she took it the day of my wedding to get it let out, and she took an ungodly amount of laxatives the day of my wedding.
7. Jackson ran out of time and budget to get his groomsmen gifts. Looking back, totally not okay. Did they notice? Not one bit. I love how simple boys are.
