My Garden

I'm struggling with a lot of real-life moments as this summer draws to a close.    The first is a hard one for me. I won't be going to school this fall. No, I didn't drop out; it's my first fall semester after graduation. This is the time when I'm usually buying books, organizing things to move back to my dorm or apartment, and now, I'm not.  Not because I don't want to, but because I'm done. How do I, the person who needs to learn and read and take tests and write papers, manage those needs outside the classroom? I loved, and still love, sitting in lecture halls, learning and taking notes. I love turning in papers and that anticipation that comes before you get back what you know will be an A.  I miss my campus, I miss my classes. I see my graduation cap hanging in our room and it's a reminder, yes, of all I've done, but also a reminder that I'm done. I'm past that season of life and now I'm stuck in the 8-4 Monday-Friday crunch.

(via: Daily News Journal)   Which brings me to my second horse pill to swallow. My 8-4 Monday-Friday crunch is not (I don't think) what I want to do for the rest of forever.  I see my friends decorating their classrooms and getting nervous for their students to come to class. I realize Metro Nashville is not the greatest school system, but I want to be there. I am a product of that school system and the few loving teachers that poured their time and money into making me something.  I just feel like I'm not doing enough with my life. I'm settling for the bill-paying job... the job where I spend my 40 and clock out mentally and physically. I want the bulletin boards and the lesson plans and the kids into whom I can instill important things!!   Would I have to go back to school to obtain that degree? You bet. So you say, "Hey! You kill two birds with that one stone! Go get your degree!!" Hang on, I'm not quite done.   Have you ever felt like as much as you didn't want to be somewhere doing something that it was your place to be in the here and now? I recently watched some videos about a man named Ed who has ALS.  They're part of a series called Ed's Story.  One of his videos talks about the fact that Adam and Eve were in the garden to tend and nurture it, and by doing so, they were worshiping God. That video will not leave the depths of my heart and brain.  I'm in my garden.  My job is my garden. So while it's not the garden I want it to be, maybe it's the garden God wants for me.  I'm trying to learn to be content and happy with that fact. I am thankful that God trusts me enough to put me here and let this be mine for now.  I'm sure when I've done all He needs me to do here, he will send me elsewhere to tend to another garden.    What is your garden? How are you dealing with trying to be happy in your garden rather than admiring someone else's?