20 things I've learned in 23 years

Today's my 23rd birthday! Blink-182 told me no one would like me at this age....     It's not 18, I've been legal for five years (??!!?!) It's not 20, I kissed teenage years goodbye three years ago (??!?!) It's not 21, I've been legally allowed to drink for two whole years (never have I ever!)   But it is 23. My first birthday as a wife. The first birthday I get off of work in forever My 10th to celebrate with Jackson The last on a weekday for years   I'm spending today sleeping in, hanging with my daddy, celebrating with Jackson, and reflecting on 23 years of life.   Here's what I've learned   Stop rushing life - I am a rusher.  I rush through life, fun events, the little "insignificant" things to get to the big things.  Rushing life has caused me to miss the importance of things in the here and now.   You have to let people in - I spent a lot of time with walls.  I didn't want anyone else inside those walls, and I was just fine, thank you very much.  College and friends broke those walls down and shared real and raw life with me.  The walls make you miss out.   There's value in hard work - Whether it's a day completed at the office, or a project you complete just for you, there's value in it.  I never understood people who don't have work ethic or drive to work. The reward is often self-gratifying and warrants a pat on my own back, but hey, that's okay.   You don't get an opinion unless you're informed - I have turned into one of those obnoxious adults who, in an argument, wants to hear the reasoning behind why someone thinks how they think.  I hold everyone (even myself) to a high standard when it comes to forming opinions.  Unless I've researched something enough to have all of my facts, I don't get to argue my opinion.   Some days call for no makeup and sweatpants - This one is pretty self explanatory.  Some days are like that, and that's ok. You don't have to be dressed to the nines every day.  Sometimes, pajama pants are just fine.   Confidence is key - So much good comes from having confidence.  Whether it's an awesome outfit that you thought you'd never pull off, or a public speech, confidence makes the difference.   You don't need everyone - Being an extrovert, this is a huge deal to me.  I get my energy, my "go" from being with and amongst people. It's dangerous to think you need everyone.  You don't.  I promise.  Some people will only work against you for the rest of your life. It's okay to let them go.    Splurge, you will end up wasting it anyway - Honestly, I have learned that some things are splurge worthy. For example, my Nikon D3100 that has been used twice was totally worth every penny.  Looking back, I can always remember the things I didn't splurge on and reallllly wanted; I can't tell you what I bought with the money I saved.    Don't change for people - This one is huge.  I went through high school not knowing what it was I wanted, who I wanted to be, or who I really was.  I let my friends, boyfriend(s... there were only two besides Jackson), and parents tell me who I needed to be.  I remember going to college and breaking down because I didn't know who I was.  My year away from home really made me realize what I wanted and who I wanted to be.  Once I became that person, I realized I was happy. Sure, there are still people who don't like me, but do you need those kind of people anyway?     Dad was (and always is) right - I used to joke that Dad was never wrong, but the older I get, the more true it is.  My dad was 39 when I was born, and he had done some living.  He had been through the 50's and 60's, high school and college, wars, jobs, friends, etc.  You name it, Dad has a story about it.  He was right when he said me and my friends from high school would grow apart, when he said I was always going to love my mother no matter how awful she can be, and when he told stories about the values of hard work. He is always right.    Smile at everyone - Don't know them? Doesn't matter.  I have resting grumpy face, so I, personally, have to make an effort to smile at everyone.  It started out as faking it so I would stop getting asked what was wrong with me.  Then it became a habit.  I'll never forget the day someone posted on our "college confessions" page (lame, I know) that the blonde haired girl in the elevator of whatever building wearing a grey striped shirt with a "CMR" monogrammed backpack smiled at them and changed their day.  Do it! It's worth it!   Sisters stick together - Cameron and I didn't really grow up close.  We were so alike but so different that we didn't really mesh well.  I was the social butterfly and she was very academic.  We didn't see eye to eye on a lot. I would have traded her for $20 back then, but I wouldn't trade her for the world now.  I know she is and will always be there.    Say "I'm Sorry" in moderation - There is always a reason for someone to be sorry, but that doesn't mean it always has to be you.  I was guilty of apologizing for things that weren't my fault, apologizing when there wasn't anything I should be sorry about, and talking myself into thinking it was my fault.  I'm sorrys are only okay when they're said by the person truly at fault, and when they are meant wholeheartedly.    It's too hard to hate people - Holding grudges, hating people, being mad for long periods of time is simply exhausting.  What's the point, anyway?   Stop talking - I used to get myself in a lot of trouble trying to talk my way into or out of things.  I'm a talker, and I'm a confident talker at that.  I can talk to anyone, about anything, and arguing is my specialty.  The problem was that I was always forcing people to listen.  By shutting up, I was able to learn so much more about life around me.   Leave it to mystery - This goes mostly for clothes.  I was a high schooler who would let it all hang out.... until I realized no one wanted to know me better. There was no depth and no mystery.  My junior year, I got my wits about me and went "Jackie O" and realized that my relationships changed drastically.   Hostess gifts are not optional - Even if it's a Thank You card, the hostess deserves a gift.  It doesn't matter if it's Christmas, if it's family, or if it's a friend for a sleepover.  Follow your dream - This time last year, I didn't even have an embroidery machine. This year, people are coming to me to embroider things for them for Christmas.  There's no telling where it will take me by this time next year!! All because it was something I wanted, Dad Santa invested, and boom!  You're Beautiful - I'm not a size two, I have a butt too big for jeans that fit everywhere else, I am short, my hair is frizzy, and I have breakouts.  But by golly, I'm beautiful, just the way God made me.   Ask; the worst someone can say is no - Whether it's the raise you want, the discount on something awesome, etc... don't be afraid to ask because the worst someone can say is no.  If you never ask, you never know how it might have turned out.