Wedding Wednesday: Bride-Guide to Bridesmaids

Happy Wedding Wednesday!   I come to you today with a bride-guide.   After I got engaged, so did my two best friends. They were my bridesmaids, and I am theirs (and MOH to one of them).  Before I got engaged, I was all wedding all the time. I wanted to be a wedding planner, open my own bridal salon, etc. After I got engaged, February 2, 2014 (the day after our wedding) could not come fast enough.   So today, I bring to you the things I learned as a bride that I wish I could tell all brides about bridesmaids.

1. Be smart about how much you're asking your bridesmaids to spend. My bridesmaid dresses were a little expensive ($140ish). We were in a time crunch because the ones I thought I loved I ended up hating, and they needed to have been ordered two weeks prior to my deciding on these. I offered to pay whatever needed to be paid for whoever needed it.  If you can't do that, think about other places you can cut costs. I told them to wear nude shoes they already had, didn't make them pay for hair or nails, makeup was free, I provided the jewelry. Because I knew they were spending so much, I was hesitant to ask them to pay any more. There's a fine line between having the wedding you want and making your bridesmaids stress. Odds are, they'll only remember what a financial burden your wedding was, not what a great time they had.
2. You're going to hurt feelings when picking your girls. I know, you don't want to, but you're going to. You can't possibly have twenty bridesmaids. Your best friend from elementary school probably still isn't interested in the pact you made years ago. Your cousins may feel like they're entitled to that position and get their feelings hurt when you don't ask. Sometimes it snowballs because you can't ask Jane and Jill without asking Judy, but if you ask Judy you'll have to ask JoAnn (and they're all Duggar sisters... just kidding). Your best friends from high school, the other roommates, the friends from church that you didn't ask may have hurt feelings. I had an old friend tweet and post passive facebook posts like "you never know what you mean to someone until you're not picked for bridesmaid." It's okay. Make your picks and don't be bullied.
3. Be mindful of body types. If you have bridesmaids of all sizes, don't pick a dress that will flatter only one body type. I'm in a wedding where most of the girls are tall and skinny, my co-MOH is petite and tiny, and I'm petite and "thicker" than they are. Some of the first dresses we tried on were only going to look good on the tall ones. The dresses we ended up with look great on everyone, but have to be hemmed because there wasn't a "petite" option. 
4. Not everyone is going to like everyone. I have two best friends. One can't stand the other, but it's because they're from two different worlds.  I met them in two different worlds, and our friendships are very different. I love them the same. After every party, shower, get together, etc. I would hear "gahh, I can't stand her!". Did I like it? No. Did I know I had to tolerate it through the end of my wedding? Yes, and that was okay.
5. Be gracious when you're making plans including your bridesmaids. This covers everything from what you're doing at your bachelorette party to what you're asking them to do the day of your wedding. If you have someone who you know has an issue with alcohol, it wouldn't be nice to demand they take part in drinking games. Know their comfort zones. If they're not comfortable doing a choreographed dance in front of everyone and their mamas, don't force it. They're already in dresses and shoes, all dolled up. Don't ask them to break it down while everyone stares at them.

  Looking back, these were things I was sure I did when it came to my bridesmaids.  I'm in weddings where not all of them are the case, and it makes life difficult.  These girls are your best girls and are standing by you in that video (and in your heart) forever.