Newlywed Lessons

Our first year has flown. Time wise, it seems like we got married a few months ago. Our first year of marriage has been so incredibly full.  I can count the number of weekends we had down time on one hand, but I can't count the blessings on all of my fingers and toes combined.   Our year has been full of learning. Learning how to share, learning how to coexist, learning how to mesh our lives. I won't lie. Some days were hard.  Some days were full of fights about money and babies and our home and quality time. Some days were full of tickle fights, homemade waffles, and giggles. All of our days have been so filled with love.   I've learned some really hard lessons this year.   What we have is enough - We don't need the million dollar mansion, we don't need fancy cars or expensive gifts for Christmas.  What we have is plenty.  I have learned how to be appreciative and happy and thankful for the things we have right now, because in the blink of an eye, it could all be gone. 

    The here and now won't be here and now forever - I have, in the 27 days so far this year, learned to live more in the moment than I ever have. Heck, I'm leaving my planner places because I don't use it as often.  I'm learning to live on a whim, to pick up and go, and to live in the here and now.  We planned our anniversary trip on a whim at a week's notice. We go to concerts. We are going to 10:30pm movies just because. We are throwing a little of our caution to the wind, and I love it. It just so happens, it has cured my current baby fever, which is an added perk! ;) I won't always get this time to spend with Jackson, so I'm soaking it up one moment at a time.

    Sharing is caring, but it's not always fun - I didn't grow up with skills in sharing. My sister and I went to different high schools so we wouldn't have to share friends, teachers, etc. That was not such a good thing for my marriage. We love hanging out with our friends, but being a quality time person, I don't always like to share time with my husband with everyone else.  I also don't like sharing the spotlight. When my brother in law and his new wife came home for Christmas, I hated sharing my "first married Christmas" spotlight.  As for sharing the TV, I have been known to throw a "I don't want to watch this hunting show anymore" fit.  I'm not proud, but I'm learning.     Sometimes not saying everything you think is okay - In an argument, not everything is something worthy of being said.  Sometimes, whatever it is may make matters worse.  It's okay to ask for a minute to collect your thoughts. The smartest thing I've ever done is ask for a pause. It's a pause in whatever argument is going on so I can think.  When I'm upset, my filter goes out the window, so things that aren't so encouraging are said before I have a chance to think about them. Taking that pause is crucial to my arguing.   What was your biggest newlywed lesson? 

Life Lately

Life is in whirlwind mode once again, and it's been days since I've been here!    Here's what I've been up to:   We had an epic weekend last weekend full of dates with one of our best friends   Traveled to Middle of Nowhere, TN last week for a work trip and scored over $100 in mileage!   We booked our anniversary trip and can't wait to just get away from life with my sweet husband. And eat our wedding cake. :)

    I've got two bags of clothes to go to Goodwill, and I'm attempting to rebuild my wardrobe. Of course, it doesn't help when I often let my cart full of really cute things expire.

    I'm 100% cured from this bout of baby fever I've been battling. (It all started here)   I'm exhausted and I feel like I'm running on empty because I'm trying to keep up with my promotion, I'm not being trained very well, and I'm trying desperately to find someone to fill my old job. There is just not enough coffee, yall. I would give anything for a slow day.

  I'm working on filing our taxes. Did anyone else get screwed the first year after they got married, or is it just us?

  I'm also working on a savings strategy to get our Baby Step 1 built back up. And pay off our debt at the same time.  I may have to call My bff Dave and chit chat 1 on 1.   I'm catching up on your lives one post at a time! I plan to do a lot of "In our first year..." posts this week since we're rounding the corner of our first anniversary!

Our Epic Weekend

Last weekend was epic and busy and so full!  Friday, we went with one of our best friends to see American Sniper.   Can we just talk about how awesome the movie was for like two seconds? It brought me to tears.   Saturday, we bummed all day and then went to the Linkin Park Concert that night.  best. concert. ever. 

my phone ran out of storage when they got to In The End, and I cried. I waited my whole 23 years (well, probably really only 13 of them) to see them play that song!! 

Sunday, we had a great day to ourselves talking about our anniversary plans (uh, what?!) and watching Breaking Bad!

I was also off on Monday and I went to hang with my daddy and my mama and my sweet puppy!
Now, I'm in a hotel room in the middle of nowhere for work, wishing I was home.

I am slowly catching up on your weekends!! 

That Time I Almost Got Scammed Out Of $500

Time to time, I scroll on Trulia. I love looking for good deals on places we could move since we're paying for a house and have a teensy tiny apartment.  Couldn't hurt, right?   Wrong.   I came across this house. It's a beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house for $700! It's close to where I grew up, close to where my daddy lives, etc.

  We fell head over heels. I sent an inquiry through the website and got an e-mail back from the owner of the house. He had bid on petroleum land in California and was tying up loose ends back home.  It seemed legit... if you miss the big warning that says "Owners who claim to be in another state may be a scam". I missed that big warning.  Utilities were included and we would be taken out of our rent payment.  Too good to be true? No! It's our home! We were so thrilled. We would be saving so much per month that we could save for our own downpayment!!   Anyway. I go for days talking to this guy about this house, how beautiful it is, and arrange to send the money via PayPal for him to send the keys and the documents. Jackson was questioning it all along, but I had the answers, and I trusted him, so it was ok. (That is the part that makes me want to vomit)   He never replied. Looking back, huge red flag that he didn't reply after I said we didn't like mailing checks.   Monday morning, I woke up and went to work, started digging a little further and found a real estate agent's number.  He told me I would, however, they decided not to go with a realtor because their tenant may not get along with a realtor and it would be hard for them to be in California and have to be the gobetween.  Legit, right? I called the phone number, explained what happened to the young girl, and she informed me it was a scam.  Of course it was. The listing is gone, everything is gone. What was I thinking?   I have never felt more violated or taken advantage of in my life.  Never. Even when my purse was stolen and my credit card was used. Never.  I trusted whomever I was speaking to, and I gave information I thought would be used to check references.  Now, a creepo scammer knows where we live, knows our occupations, and he knows about my cleaning schedule!   Silver lining: I trusted my gut and called to check it out before we sent money.   Lesson learned: If it seems too good to be true, it's too good to be true.  

Rainy Days and Mondays

Our weekend was so busy. Like, it's Monday and my head is on my desk because I'm in a state of exhaustion I've never been in before. I think.   Friday, we worked and came home to a date night. Penn Station and a little Breaking Bad... great date night if I do say so myself.   Saturday, I spent my day at my Daddy's house playing with all of my pets that I left behind.

  Meanwhile, Jackson was sitting in a field with a gun doing what he loves to do.

  Saturday evening, we had a date with one of my best friends from high school at Rosepepper. 

 

  Sunday, we churched, we ate, we grocery shopped, we ate some more, we watched the Golden Globes, and we slept. Now it is Monday, it's raining, and I feel like everyone is ready to rip everyone's head off.  Welcome back, eh?  

Friday!

  1. This week, I ordered our 2014 book from Shutterfly. I love recapping our year in book form.  From here on out, I will probably do chunks of years in each book or else we'll have one book per year, plus baby books, plus wedding and honeymoon books and not enough shelves to hold them all.  It's an obsession.  I just love Shutterfly in general.  I had 30 free 4x6 prints - hello new recipe cards (they're easier to write on with the matte finish)!

  2. I finally buckled down and bought some new jeans from ThredUP.  I hate paying more than $15 for a pair of jeans, but I was in a pickle because my favorite jeans were starting to show signs of rippage to come!!   I bought a really cute Ann Taylor T-shirt to go with them! ;)

3.  I am loving my job more than ever. Since my promotion, I do work that matters, work that is intriguing, and more work in one day than I used to do in a month. I am so thankful that I'm gaining experience and that my new daily set of tasks doesn't leave me wanting to sleep out of boredom.   4. I got to finally break out my ear warmers!! It hasn't been cold enough to wear it until now! It just so happened that I had the perfect scarf to go with it!

  5.  I may or may not have taken the huge plunge and made a bigger commitment than I'm ready for. I ordered business cards for my embroidery side of life.  I also may or may not have set up a website for all of my work

 

 

Communication is Key

We've all heard the line "Communication is key." Heck, I have a bachelors of science in communication. Thousands of dollars spent to learn, and I'm no better at it than I was before. Why? I'll chalk it up to human nature, but it's probably because I'm stubborn. Communication is like exercise. It sucks to do it, and it's hard to get started, and sometimes you have arguments because of it (or puke, in exercise's case), but after it's all said and done, you're so thankful you did it!   Someone once called me a "let me do it" personality.  That's a nice way of saying I'm a control freak. I like to know things are done the way I like them done, and the only way to do that is to do them myself.  In high school, I was the kid in group projects that would tell my teammates that I would do the project and they could have the A. Most people were okay with that!   Insert husband here. (just because I think this gives you a great idea of who he is...hahaha)   I'm now one person on a two person team. There's very little room for "let me do it" personalities in a marriage because eventually, the more laid back of the two starts to feel like he/she is being left out of the planning and the doing.    For example, we recently talked about our finances and what they mean for our five year plan.  Talking to my husband about our finances, our bills and debts, where our money goes, where each of us would like it to go, and what it means for moving, growing our family, etc. was one of the best things I've ever done.  Why did it take me almost eleven months to do it? Because I figured I had it under control and he would go along with it. I felt like a 5,000 pound weight was lifted from my shoulders when all was said and done, and Jackson felt like he was included.  It also helped him feel like he was better able to lead our family because he was better informed.  He has been praying for God to make him the leader our family needs, and through our talk, he was able to grow! I had been praying for relief from my money stress, and having someone who shares our goals and plans lifted that weight.  Talk about answered prayers!   Letting people, especially my husband, in is becoming easier and easier the more I realize how much better it makes me feel.  I don't have to carry my burdens alone, and that is something I constantly have to remind myself. 

Reconnecting

This has been a post I've been thinking about writing, but the timing never felt right.  God wasn't done working so that I could speak to it wholeheartedly. Now I'm here, I'm ready.   Last year was a year of great adjustment.  I graduated college a month prior, I got married in February and moved into a new home, I spent a lot of time working and making sure all of our friends' quality time tanks were filled.  I learned how to make time for myself, how to make time for my sweet husband, and how to make time for my marriage.  I thought the last one would come naturally, but for two extroverts who have a need to be around people, it took some hard work to stop and make time for just the two of us.   The one thing I forgot to make time for was God. I wasn't praying unless someone asked me to pray for a certain person or situation.  I wasn't reading my Bible unless I needed a verse to throw in an argument. I wasn't holding my husband accountable for his relationship with God, either.  I wasn't making sure he sat down and read with me... I wasn't encouraging him to pray with and for me and our family.  I made time for all of our relationships except the most important one.   After months of struggling with that fact, we can fast forward to Christmas 2014. I was feeling burned out, tired, and just... bleh.  I was on my way home from church with my iHeart radio playing some good, old Linkin Park (to prepare for the concert, of course) and my radio switched itself to Switchfoot radio.  The music was completely unrelated, but I went with it... who doesn't like Switchfoot, after all?  Song after song had the basic message "I'm not going anywhere, I will always love you, come to me". Cue the tears. I'm not implying God works through iHeart radio, but it was one heck of a coincidence, and some pretty great timing.    I made it one of my resolutions to spend more time reading and praying with Jackson, and so far, so good.  It, for us, is a matter of turning off the TV, getting off of our phones, and making time for God and our marriage. It's going to be a daily struggle, but I'm almost positive this one will be worth it.  Here's to rooting my marriage in Christ this year!  

Friday!

Happy first Friday of 2015!!   I did a quick recap of what we were getting everyone for Christmas, but haven't gotten around to doing a haul. Honestly, I probably won't because Christmas isn't about the awesome things we get, it's about family and giving and celebrating our Savior.    Instead of doing a whole big post about it, here are my five most favorite things we got for Christmas! We were so richly blessed by our families!!   1. Only the best thing to ever happen to our bed... this mattress pad was like getting a brand new mattress.  We sleep without tossing and turning, now!

 

2.

I got all of the seasons of Greek on DVD, and Jackson got the box set of Sons of Anarchy!

 

3.

My long coveted Laundry sign from World Market! I can't wait to hang it in the Laundry closet for clothes that need to hang to dry, Jackson's work pants, etc.

 

4.

My remote to my new car stopped working without warning a few weeks ago.  They're ridiculously expensive, so I asked for one for Christmas. My sister found a website that has them for a fraction of the price! Funny story, we had it cut and it doesn't turn, so we have to buy another one, but it was definitely one of my favorite gifts. 

 

(via)

 

5.

One of my favorite movies is Somewhere in Time.  Its theme is the one I walked down the aisle to.  It is one of Dad's all time favorites, too.  I didn't have my own copy and really really wanted one, so my sweet brother-in-law and sister-in-law bought one for me for Christmas!!

 

 

I have loved reading your Christmas recaps!! 

 

HAPPY2015!