When Your Spouse Falls Short

When we said our vows, they were sentimental and sweet. We vowed to love each other unconditionally for the rest of our lives.  By saying "I Do", we were saying, in front of our family and friends, that we expect the other to deliver on what we vowed.  I expect him love and cherish me, to honor and protect me, to lead me to the cross, and to encourage me daily because those are things Jackson vowed to me.  Likewise, he expects the same of me because that is what I vowed to him.    It goes without saying that there are expectations you have of your spouse, even though you did not write them in pretty letters and read them in front of everyone.  Obviously, I expect him to be faithful, to someday be a great father to our children, etc.  Those were implied.  What wasn't necessarily implied, and certainly wasn't presented, is our chore expectations of each other.   We've been having growing pains that just haven't finished working themselves out quite yet.  And I'm still okay with occasionally falling behind.  I, being the Type-A personality, am not always okay with falling behind, though.    Expectation: Jackson will do exactly half of the chores, and I will do half. Reality: Life gets in the way.    Jackson has picked up 10 hour days at work, has been working on duck decoys for this season, has been studying for his CDL, and has been trying to make sure that my little quality time loving heart is well tended to.  The man is lucky to get a full night's rest. Chores are not always split 50/50, but should never be split 100/0. I was okay with doing it all until I found myself burned out from working, running errands, and cleaning 24/7.    Expectation: Jackson will see that I'm tired from working and doing all of the chores and cooking and working. Reality: My husband is not a mind reader   As silly as it sounds, this is something I am learning over and over again, pretty much once a week.  True, we could both be a little more observant of the other's feelings by trying to read the other; however, it still leaves room for spousal error.  Jackson is going to read me the wrong way, just like I'm going to misread him.  It would make life 100% easier if we were able to simply come out and say "I need your help" or "You're not helping me enough" or "I'm tired, can you do the laundry tonight?" I'm 85% passive, and will slam the dishwasher closed, or finish what I'm doing and storm off to the bedroom.  Goal: Use my words.   Expectation: Jackson is going to make a full 180 degree transformation overnight Reality: We will forget and life will get in the way again and we will be back here in a month or so, maybe one step closer to the goal than we are right now!     And that is okay.  We are married for the rest of our lives, and we are going to continue to grow and hit these speed bumps and grow some more.  That's life. When we stop learning, we are in trouble.   

 What unsaid expectations have reared their ugly heads into your marriage? How did you handle them?    Linking up with WYWW