Two Become One

One of the hardest parts about newlywed life so far has been getting into the "ours" mindset.  Sure, I'm great with sharing a home and a plan and a main bank account and a bed. But money was the hardest adjustment for me.    A couple of years ago, I got my own credit card to establish credit.  I was an envelope system user, but it was made evident that if I didn't have credit, buying a house was going to be impossible.  (this was before we decided on the apartment)   So I would put things on the credit card that I had the money on my debit card for. When I got home, I would budget that money so I could pay it off at the end of the month.  This system was great. Who can get in trouble with a $500 limit?  

    While I didn't get into financial trouble in the sense that I ran up hundreds of dollars of debt, I ran into financial trouble in the sense that it was my own secret shopping card that Jackson never had to know about.  Our direct deposit is set up so that our Health Savings is automatic, our Emergency Savings (baby step 1) is automatic, and the rest goes to our main account.  Well, my credit card is linked to my old bank account that became our "Emergency Savings."  I knew Jackson never logged on to our account to check the savings, so it was my own little secret that I would use it to pay off whatever credit card purchases I had made.   Sneaky? Yes. Ethical? No.   I couldn't let go of my shopping habits to benefit our savings and our overall plan.  When I would sell things on eBay, my money would sit in my own Paypal waiting for something I'd like to buy. It started to hurt most when we needed that emergency savings and we didn't have as much in it as I thought we did. Oops.   Two become one.   This phrase has to be present in all aspects of life, big or tiny, or it just doesn't work.